- V
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
AOL
I have decided to spam this blog with all the vetti things I am doing in this brief vacation. Yeah, first i changed the layout of the blog - for the better or worse! So, today its going to be about this Art of living course I attended. My mom stared at me weirdly when I told her I am going to attend. Mainly because I do not classify in the "aacharamana iyer girl" who knows lots of slokas and goes to temple everyday and transforms to "vandhel ponel" when the same breed is spotted. And she thought only people with that "aptitude" will attend such courses. Anyways, I wanted to attend one of these courses because i was simply curious about it and had a lot of time on my hands. It was a five day course and making long things short, you do a lot of breathing exercises and lots of comical things which you wouldn't generally do in front of a bunch of people. The instructor did hype it up a little bit on the last few days saying "guru ji has entered you now and you are a free soul" and all that kind of stuff. That part of it didn't appeal to me because though I respect people such as him who spread this wave of humanity in different forms, I cannot get myself to worship them. I am not an atheist though. But, again, I believe that god has too many problems to look at and your fight with your boyfriend is the last thing he needs to solve. He/she would be mighty happy if you help yourself and help others rather than building an idol of him/her in gold. Coming back to the point. I met one "I want to make fraandhsip with you" case during the course who was quite irritating. Despite all this, the whole point is that I left the course with a good feeling. Though I heard the same advice I already knew, I left swearing to myself that I ll never go unhappy again. I was surprised to see how a simple breathing pattern can influence your mind and replenish your thoughts. Progressively, during the five days, I started seeing the futility of the petty ego clashes between me and my father and I decided to break them every time. My mom found me much more cheerful than before. Other people who attended had much more illustrative experiences like an old lady who had a severe neck problem now did not feel the pain at all. I made lots of friends too - from all age groups :) . Well, I am not campaigning for it or anything. But if you have the time, do try and attend the course. Or recommend it to somebody who is in real bad shape. It will definitely be a worthwhile experience and might even help clear that clutter in your head or somebody else's!
- V
- V
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Random
Statutory Warning : This post may not make any sense.
Yeah that was my latest. Afterwards, I was trying to draw a small girl bending over a worm. Somehow she started frowning. I put it away. Guess it was not meant to be today. I dreamt that the plant where the worm was sitting was a man eater plant. I dreamt that we were giggling and she touched the worm and she suddenly disappeared. Oh my god, I killed her I thought! She later reappeared and said I just had to rush to pee! I didnt finish the painting after that. I like travelling by buses. Why the hell is there so much traffic even on a saturday afternoon. This lady with a kid got in. I made that kid sit on my lap. She would keep quiet until her mom was looking at her and smile and giggle. If her mom even took her eyes off her she would start squealing. What did that guy in the movie say .. Kids forgive, they don't judge, they turn the other cheek, and what do they get for it.. simple and so true. They just need you to love them. They dont understand why you abuse each other so much. The kid just wants somebody to tell him that the tree he drew is real good, that she is our dear own sweet girl forever, that we are proud of the shapeless card he cut out for you. The Asha Teacher was talking to me. She was saying "we want to do a lot of things, but the government teachers do not cooperate. They do what is necessary to satisfy the inspectors." We spoke for hours. She finally said "Please help us ma'am, come to our school". We left. Its not a one day job, let it sink in. Toss and turn it around. Well, I need to go there soon . I was dreaming and I almost missed my stop. She was singing, "Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you .Not alone, tell me you feel it too .And I would runaway ,I would runaway, yeah, I would runaway with you." Do you understand that I get angry and shout only coz I cannot stand the separation. Sometimes I just dont want to say what I feel. I wish you. would understand. You are supposed to understand I think. Maybe its unfair. I need to paint. Throw in some colours and relax and let them take shape. I am not unhappy but sometimes.. only sometimes I feel I am just hanging in there.
- V
PS : Asha stands for ASHA for education. Check this link to know more - http://www.ashanet.org/chennai/
Yeah that was my latest. Afterwards, I was trying to draw a small girl bending over a worm. Somehow she started frowning. I put it away. Guess it was not meant to be today. I dreamt that the plant where the worm was sitting was a man eater plant. I dreamt that we were giggling and she touched the worm and she suddenly disappeared. Oh my god, I killed her I thought! She later reappeared and said I just had to rush to pee! I didnt finish the painting after that. I like travelling by buses. Why the hell is there so much traffic even on a saturday afternoon. This lady with a kid got in. I made that kid sit on my lap. She would keep quiet until her mom was looking at her and smile and giggle. If her mom even took her eyes off her she would start squealing. What did that guy in the movie say .. Kids forgive, they don't judge, they turn the other cheek, and what do they get for it.. simple and so true. They just need you to love them. They dont understand why you abuse each other so much. The kid just wants somebody to tell him that the tree he drew is real good, that she is our dear own sweet girl forever, that we are proud of the shapeless card he cut out for you. The Asha Teacher was talking to me. She was saying "we want to do a lot of things, but the government teachers do not cooperate. They do what is necessary to satisfy the inspectors." We spoke for hours. She finally said "Please help us ma'am, come to our school". We left. Its not a one day job, let it sink in. Toss and turn it around. Well, I need to go there soon . I was dreaming and I almost missed my stop. She was singing, "Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you .Not alone, tell me you feel it too .And I would runaway ,I would runaway, yeah, I would runaway with you." Do you understand that I get angry and shout only coz I cannot stand the separation. Sometimes I just dont want to say what I feel. I wish you. would understand. You are supposed to understand I think. Maybe its unfair. I need to paint. Throw in some colours and relax and let them take shape. I am not unhappy but sometimes.. only sometimes I feel I am just hanging in there.
- V
PS : Asha stands for ASHA for education. Check this link to know more - http://www.ashanet.org/chennai/
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I WONDER !
Most days of the month,you would find me in a train ,a bus or on any other means of transport than on my postal adress and among all other positives of travelling extensively the best one i would say is the opprtunity and the time it gives me to reflect and think on my life,my work,my relationship and goals and dreams in life.It shows you or rather reminds you of the way other people live their lives ranging from seeing a range rover pass by to a person on all fours trying to go up a 50 step stairs at a crowded railway station.It exposes you to happiness,anger,distress,frustration.desperation(oh yes! you see that a lot !),hunger,poverty and a plethora of feelings,lifestyles and various other aspects of life.
One of the issues that bother me or rather interest me on these travels is the meaning of life.Now what i mean is not in a phlosophical,J K way or a dalai lama way but in a more interesting or rather engaging way.Why is it that we do,what we do in a certain way ? why is it that some times you see people doing the same job day in and day out every other day of their life ?Why is it that at times,this journey take all the expected turns and just when it gets boring and mechanical,you slip on the u turn round the corner ?Why is it that that guy who goes begging on all fours ends up doing that all his life ? Is it really beacuse he was meant to do that ?is it destiny or fate as they call it ?
What is the meaning of life i wonder !
- N
- N
Monday, November 15, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Pulse
"aama paati! thatha ku paal kudithitten!"(translates to "Yes grandma! I gave grandpa milk!":) ) Sorry people, that was for paati. I am sitting next to her bed. I keep asking her to sleep but she never listens. After a series of wild educated guesses by different doctors, she has been finally diagnosed with Parkinson's. She is just lying down after a tiresome process of having porridge. I think today she ll catch some sleep after all all the physio she got.
Well, has been quite a while since my last post. I was also stuck in hospital a few months back. How did the events go ? Oh yeah! Here goes - one painful wisdom tooth, mild fever, no place for tooth, pulled it out and left with a sore gum, headed to citi center the next day for a meet up, sipped everybody's juices to ease the pain, slept through my way back in the bus and ended up at some arbit bus stand, staggered my way back home with high fever, office bunk day 1, office bunk day 2, office bunk day3, doctor, blood test ,rock bottom platelet count!!, admitted in ICU at ****** hospital!! ICU !! I never thought I ll see one!!! And I am going to be IN an ICU!!Are you kidding me!! Machines, real sick people, some at the brink of death.. I asked them why I was here! They said if your condition is not controlled, it could lead to internal bleeding of organs. I already had blood while puking. So, there I was, in the ICU, reading novels, with this whole bunch of packets of platelets being injected into me. I was having fun looking at everybody and chatting with the doctors. The doctors asked me if I was an athlete coz the pulse rate alarms that were attached to me would start screaming in the night beeping a low pulse rate. Apparently, my resting pulse rate was lower than average, like an athlete. They said its a sign of a good heart and is because of my gymming :) Everything was going on well,until, on that fateful day, the head nurse grew impatient. I guess she was bored with me or may be they needed an extra bed. For some reason, she increased the speed at which the platelets were being injected. I just knew that, suddenly, I was jerking, teeth chattering with blood spurting out of my mouth. It wouldn't stop.I thought I would just die like that. There was no energy in me to summon. It was like all my reservoirs had dried out. My mom , who had come to give me a new novel,stood shocked. I can imagine what she would have gone through. She shouted.. blasted the doctor. The doctor freaked out and asked us to move to Apollo hospital. It was midnight by then. I was taken in a doctor equipped ambulance. With all those bottles and tubes injecting fluids and oxygen into me. And I was brought out of the ambulance, you know in that cinematic style, where the people keep running along with the patient screaming out their name. My mom was running along. Just that she was not screaming, she was crying. So, I ended up in the MICU(most intensive care unit). I was apparently in real bad shape. I couldn't move out of bed to do any toiletry stuff. It had to be in the bed. :( More than anything else, I used to be ashamed to call the nurses for that. Those people are the real saints. I know that, most of us, even if paid a million dollars, wouldn't do such stuff. You really need a brilliant atitude and an overwhelming love for humanity to become a nurse. Anyways, next to me,separated by a screen was a young lady on a life support system. She was cheated by her friend who staged her suicide. She was, by god's grace, somehow saved, but she had lost all senses and lost all connection to the world. Everyday, during visiting hours(one hour a day), when my mom would come and sit with me, her husband would come and play their child's recorded crying and try to wake her up. "Look at me, your kid is here. He played with his truck today.See he is smiling." Poor girl :( My problems were nothing. How can somebody destroy somebody's life like that. What the hell are we made of. Like somebody said, you make all the people in the world throw their problems and pile them up, you would immediately feel ashamed and remove your's from the pile. So, I recuperated, slowly. One day, the nurse came and asked me shall i remove the oxygen mask. I said" no! i am not able to breathe!". She said "ok !your wish!". The next day, I said may be we ll try removing it today. She smiled and said I had switched it off even before asking you yesterday. Its just a little bit of confidence your heart should have in the brain and the body. Our body is capable of so many things, if only the heart would it let it be. Open your mind and heart to everything. This is something I learnt and felt there everyday. So, making long things short, I was then moved into the ICU and then to the normal ward and then to the hospital room. Learning to walk, balance, painful physio for my thrombosis hand, eating nice food(apollo food rocks :D ), friends, phone calls,catching up with office, bla bla bla. .. I was well. And then I got out of hospital and was so pissed off with N and messaged him saying "fyi i am alive". And like they say the rest is history :).
Paati will walk very soon. I just wish her heart would believe that.
- V
Well, has been quite a while since my last post. I was also stuck in hospital a few months back. How did the events go ? Oh yeah! Here goes - one painful wisdom tooth, mild fever, no place for tooth, pulled it out and left with a sore gum, headed to citi center the next day for a meet up, sipped everybody's juices to ease the pain, slept through my way back in the bus and ended up at some arbit bus stand, staggered my way back home with high fever, office bunk day 1, office bunk day 2, office bunk day3, doctor, blood test ,rock bottom platelet count!!, admitted in ICU at ****** hospital!! ICU !! I never thought I ll see one!!! And I am going to be IN an ICU!!Are you kidding me!! Machines, real sick people, some at the brink of death.. I asked them why I was here! They said if your condition is not controlled, it could lead to internal bleeding of organs. I already had blood while puking. So, there I was, in the ICU, reading novels, with this whole bunch of packets of platelets being injected into me. I was having fun looking at everybody and chatting with the doctors. The doctors asked me if I was an athlete coz the pulse rate alarms that were attached to me would start screaming in the night beeping a low pulse rate. Apparently, my resting pulse rate was lower than average, like an athlete. They said its a sign of a good heart and is because of my gymming :) Everything was going on well,until, on that fateful day, the head nurse grew impatient. I guess she was bored with me or may be they needed an extra bed. For some reason, she increased the speed at which the platelets were being injected. I just knew that, suddenly, I was jerking, teeth chattering with blood spurting out of my mouth. It wouldn't stop.I thought I would just die like that. There was no energy in me to summon. It was like all my reservoirs had dried out. My mom , who had come to give me a new novel,stood shocked. I can imagine what she would have gone through. She shouted.. blasted the doctor. The doctor freaked out and asked us to move to Apollo hospital. It was midnight by then. I was taken in a doctor equipped ambulance. With all those bottles and tubes injecting fluids and oxygen into me. And I was brought out of the ambulance, you know in that cinematic style, where the people keep running along with the patient screaming out their name. My mom was running along. Just that she was not screaming, she was crying. So, I ended up in the MICU(most intensive care unit). I was apparently in real bad shape. I couldn't move out of bed to do any toiletry stuff. It had to be in the bed. :( More than anything else, I used to be ashamed to call the nurses for that. Those people are the real saints. I know that, most of us, even if paid a million dollars, wouldn't do such stuff. You really need a brilliant atitude and an overwhelming love for humanity to become a nurse. Anyways, next to me,separated by a screen was a young lady on a life support system. She was cheated by her friend who staged her suicide. She was, by god's grace, somehow saved, but she had lost all senses and lost all connection to the world. Everyday, during visiting hours(one hour a day), when my mom would come and sit with me, her husband would come and play their child's recorded crying and try to wake her up. "Look at me, your kid is here. He played with his truck today.See he is smiling." Poor girl :( My problems were nothing. How can somebody destroy somebody's life like that. What the hell are we made of. Like somebody said, you make all the people in the world throw their problems and pile them up, you would immediately feel ashamed and remove your's from the pile. So, I recuperated, slowly. One day, the nurse came and asked me shall i remove the oxygen mask. I said" no! i am not able to breathe!". She said "ok !your wish!". The next day, I said may be we ll try removing it today. She smiled and said I had switched it off even before asking you yesterday. Its just a little bit of confidence your heart should have in the brain and the body. Our body is capable of so many things, if only the heart would it let it be. Open your mind and heart to everything. This is something I learnt and felt there everyday. So, making long things short, I was then moved into the ICU and then to the normal ward and then to the hospital room. Learning to walk, balance, painful physio for my thrombosis hand, eating nice food(apollo food rocks :D ), friends, phone calls,catching up with office, bla bla bla. .. I was well. And then I got out of hospital and was so pissed off with N and messaged him saying "fyi i am alive". And like they say the rest is history :).
Paati will walk very soon. I just wish her heart would believe that.
- V
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